Thursday, 3 March 2016

Reading between the school lines!


Dr Sugata Mitra, Chief scientist, NIIT, famous for the hole in the wall experiment argues that in a rapidly changing world the skills taught to children have to evolve as well. For instance it would be hard for our ancestors to believe that fencing and archery are not important subjects in our current curriculum! Perhaps fifty years hence future generations will look back and click their tongues at the hours they wasted in writing notes and memorizing history dates. Dr. Sugata Mitra, instead recommends giving children the skill to glean relevant information for themselves from the huge repository for information – the internet, fondly nicknamed Google Chacha!
As anybody who has spent enough time surfing would testify that access to the internet does not guarantee access to quality information. Children need to judge the content for its apparent validity, articles for their credibility, websites for their sources, Wikipedia articles by their attributions and so on.
 Among other skills, ability to discern and logically analyze are abilities that could be extremely useful in the future. Kids have to develop the ability to wade through a plethora of information before being able to glean out relevant pieces. Needless to say our current education system still follows the old rote method of learning that dulls the brain and inhibits creative thinking.
Apart from writing disparaging letters, that convey our frustration to an ex-TV serial actress and hope and pray that they get answered, the best we can do as parents is to encourage our children to read and fine-tune their judgement. That process begins early in infancy.
I highly recommend the tag reader from LeapFrog that used to come with an entertaining book, replete with lovable characters and witty dialogues. It is now accompanied with several audio books and a Leap Frog writing system as well. Consider the tag reader to be your baby sitter but not the couch potato creating one! When my son was 4 year old he spent countless hours reading along with this smart gadget that not only read aloud the pages but would also read out the individual words with just a click. Intuitive and easy to ease, it combines phonetic drills at the end of the story, with ingenious games that have the kid glued to the book…you heard it right …not to your smart phone! An online path learning cycle enables parents to track their child’s progress online. Equally entertaining, add on books are also available for growing levels of reading proficiency.
The only drawback of this product that affected me is the lack of after sales service, especially in non metro cities (Surat, in my case). Otherwise sturdy, a chance drop can cause the product to permanently malfunction.
My son is almost 11 years old now, but his fondness for reading still remains, so much so, that he risks missing his bus at times if he is taken in with a particularly enticing Geronimo Stilton. Which brings me to the next issue – How do we ensure quality reading for our children? With so many popular fiction books available, kids sometimes miss out on books that broaden their horizon, take their language skills up a notch and force them to think for themselves. Popular fiction, like popular movies, makes such few demands on the intellect, how can they encourage growth. So we are searching for a two pronged solution here – a )The book has to be entertaining enough and b) It has to fit the bill for language and so on. I am trying to create a reading list for my growing children. Please feel free to add to this list and I’ll publish an article in my next blog post.


Signing off till then!

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Parenting: A New Perspective


After attending the first session on a very reputed parenting workshop organized by Happy Family Foundation (Jitubhai Shah) in Surat today, my mind is buzzing with thoughts and questions. 

The workshop conveners by their own admission have drawn heavily from various books a prominent one being - 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk' by Faber and Mazlish. 
A popular book that is a free read on the Kindle that I received, it falls in the category of self help books that many of us detest and look upon with such scorn. In fact, the book is a fabulous read but not, as one might think, a substitute for this stimulating parenting workshop. The fallacy is that we CAN teach ourselves to be better - It doesn't take a parenting course or 21 odd hours spent at a goddamn workshop! 

Ah! How we fool ourselves!

As any avid reader will testify, reading a book does not automatically change our personality; it does not erase the notions of parenting handed down to us by generations. But a structured intensive workshop that forces one to practice specified skills and share peer feedback, appears to be a more effective tool for change. 
The singular achievement of this workshop is the degree of self awareness that the very first session has brought about. As old participants have testified and I have witnessed in a close friend, the workshop effectively brings about a perceptible and sustained change in the attitude of the parent.

The crux of the matter appears to be this - in our communication with our children we are scarcely able to keep aside our own emotions and insecurities. Every conversation with the child is fraught with the anxiety that we haven’t tried hard enough to convince them, that they will fall behind their peers or that they will inherit our worst failings! Through our topsy-turvy way of looking at the world, we try to fit them into the cubby-holes of 'an ideal child'!

So an 'ideal child' must excel in academics, sports and music…never mind if he helped out with the dishes with his mom!

 We are so lost in the daily trials and tribulations of our lives that forcing the child to clean his room takes priority over lending him an ear. My frustration at picking up after them gets voiced in unbelievably uncouth words and gestures. I can give perfect answers to all the questions listed in the workshop parenting questionnaire yet will fail in implementing most of the listed skills.
Couple all that with the fact that women today feel the need to establish their identity as well, much before the birds have flown from the nest and you have a perfect recipe for a high pressure cauldron - boiling and simmering!


In short there are no easy answers. We don’t know who cleaned up ultimately and we don’t know (and don’t care!) whether the child eventually returned to his cricket coaching classes. Perhaps there is a greater ideal than getting stuck in these trifles - to establish a loving and nurturing relationship between the child and the parent. And this is the objective that the convener explicitly lays down in the first session of the workshop. That objective supersedes all other ambitions that we may dream for the child. Amen.